Donkey's Adventure
by MartyCessna
Summary: What happened to Donkey before he met that big green ogre.


_The morning dawned bright and sunny in the small village. Birds sang, squirrels chattered, and children laughed as they ran around the peasant huts. Somewhere at a farm nearby, events were taking place that would one-day change the life of a particular ogre. However, the ogre wasn't old enough to realize it. And he lived deep in the swamp on the other side of Duloc. _

_This story isn't about the ogre. He's already had his time in the spotlight. _

_This story isn't about birds. It's not about squirrels. It's not about children who laugh as they run around peasant huts. It's not even about a farm._

_It's about a donkey._

Donkey was born in a pasture at a farm near a small village. There wasn't any fanfare or festivities when he was born. After all, he was just a baby donkey, nothing to get excited about. His mom probably got excited, but that's to be expected. One tends to get excited when giving birth to a donkey. Years passed, Donkey grew as most young donkeys do. He lived at the farm, played in grassy meadows, drank from crystal blue streams, and he enjoyed being a donkey. Having fun was foremost in his goals in life. I probably should mention that donkeys usually do not pursue a lot of goals in life. The very fact that Donkey even had a goal was amazing in itself.

People noticed right away that Donkey seemed different from the other donkeys. No one could have guessed how different …

Out in his pasture, Donkey looked up at the sun. Lunchtime! He wandered over to where the greenest grass grew, and noticed two people walking along the path on the other side of the fence. One was the farmer who owned the farm, but Donkey didn't recognize the other one.

The strange man was short and rumpled and had a gunnysack slung over one shoulder. He walked with a cane, and when he spoke, it was as though someone somewhere was snoring into his pillow.

As Donkey came closer, he could hear what the men were saying.

"Well, here's the donkey. Now, may I see the beans again?" The farmer held out his hand.

The rumpled man rasped in reply, "This is the donkey? Are you sure? Why, he's not big enough to do much at all! What use'd he be to me? These are magic beans that you be tradin' for! They'll grow you a crop as the like you've never seen!"

Donkey gasped. The farmer was trying to trade him in! For a sack of beans! How insulting! Donkey couldn't help feeling deeply betrayed.

"Well," the traitorous farmer sighed, "if that donkey's not good enough for you, maybe I have a cow you'd be interested in…"

The men continued down the road and disappeared over a hill.

Donkey, still in shock, wandered down to his favorite place near the crystal blue stream to think this through.

The next day, Donkey yawned and opened his eyes. He smacked his stretchy lips and smiled. Then he frowned. The sun was already low in the western sky!

"Wow! I really really slept in!" Donkey said. "Aahhhhh! What's going on? I can talk? Hey, I can talk!"

Donkey trotted over to where a cow stood dosing in the shade.

"Hey, cow, what's happenin'? Yeah, you dig that shade! I'm gonna go talk to some other people, so I'll see ya later."

Next, Donkey visited the henhouse. He was really starting to enjoy this talking thing!

"Hey, chicks! What's up? Y'all enjoyin' that grain?"

The chickens stopped pecking long enough to glare at him. Donkey didn't notice and continued his morning walk.

Donkey talked to everything and everyone at the farm (except for the farmer). Pretty much everyone didn't appreciate him interrupting their breakfast to yak at them. Some were jealous, some didn't care, most were annoyed. Still, Donkey talked.

Donkey finally found the farmer (who, as it happened, was looking for Donkey). Donkey was about to talk when suddenly, the farmer tied a rope around his nose and led him out of his pasture. Donkey was surprised, and a little put out. Who did this farmer think he was, anyway?

_I was going to treat him to some of my talking, but now I think I won't! _ Donkey thought. _In fact, I don't think I'll cooperate at all!_ Donkey sat down.

Unfortunately for Donkey, he wasn't a very big donkey, and the farmer was a big, strong guy. The farmer dragged Donkey to the barn.

The barn was decorated for some kind of party. Donkey was tied to a post inside the barn and the farmer gave him a bucket of grain. Then the farmer left, closing the barn door behind him. Light streamed in between the wall boards.

Donkey apprehensively sniffed the grain.

"Hey, don't I get a phone call or something?" he called.

Bored, Donkey laid on the hard dirt floor of the barn. He tried to sleep, but found that he wasn't sleepy yet. He tried to eat, but the grain needed salt. So he walked around the pole. Around and around and around he went. Then he thought of something.

"Hey, I can talk! Maybe, I can sing!"

Donkey sat down, cleared his throat, and began to sing.

"I'm all alooone, there's no one heeere besiiide mee…"

"WHAT is all that AWFUL NOISE?" a small voice squeaked.

Donkey quickly stood upright, "Who was that? Who's there?"

A small brown mouse peeked from behind a haystack.

"I'm Doc, the Mouse that Ran Up The Clock. What was that? Was that you?"

"You! A mouse can talk?" Donkey looked confused.

Doc sat back on its haunches, "Where I come from, everybody talks! Well, all us fairy tale people anyway. So…" Doc paused to squint at Donkey, "…ok I give up. Which fairy tale are you from?"

"Uhh, I don't think I'm from a fairy tale. I'm just a normal guy." Donkey sat back down.

"Normal!" Doc cried, "That's a good one! Let me ask you something, how many 'normal' donkeys have you met that can talk?"

Donkey thought about this, "Umm…"

"None!" Doc interrupted Donkey's thoughts, "Nope! You're strange, just like the rest of us!"

Suddenly the door swung open and the farmer stepped in, followed by ten of his farming friends. The whole group was laughing and chattering happily. Doc disappeared into the haystack, leaving Donkey still confused and sitting next to his unsalty pail of grain.

The group of humans wandered around the spacious barn, playing party games and still talking excitedly. Finally, the farmer stood up on a large crate in the middle of the room, holding a megaphone.

"Ok, everyone! I'm glad you are all enjoying the party." The farmer said into his megaphone, "You all know that we are celebrating my giant beanstalk success! So, let's do another party game, shall we? Everyone break into groups of two. We're going to play Pin The Tail On The Real Donkey!"

An excited cheer rose from the crowd as everyone picked their partners.

Donkey did not like the way this was headed. Not one bit. He twitched his own tail, hoping someone would notice that he already had one. No one did, half of them were already blindfolded and being twirled around by their partners.

Suddenly, someone staggered towards Donkey, holding a fake tail. Donkey walked away from the person, as far as the rope would let him. The person tripped over the rope and fell flat on his blindfolded face.

Then Donkey couldn't get away from the people holding tails. He ducked and wiggled and jumped, but still they came at him. Finally, Donkey threw up his front hooves and shouted, "Help!" His hooves knocked over the person nearest to him. That person fell on top of another person, and this continued until all the people were lying on the floor.

"Stop!" the farmer yelled into the megaphone.

Donkey realized that somehow, in the chaos, the rope had come off his nose.

"Ok, that's enough! Let's not get anybody hurt! We'll skip to the next activity! Drinks all around!" The farmer suggested.

Again a cheer rose from the crowd, though this time it didn't seem as enthusiastic.

Donkey tried to find a chance to make a run for it. Someone had left the door open! If he could just get to there before someone noticed, he could get away from this crazy bunch! The more he tried to get there, the more it seemed he was pushed back. No one wanted to miss out on free drinks (except Donkey)!

As the crowd got drunker, Donkey found it harder to move. Everywhere he looked, people were staggering around, saying nonsense and giggling. Then things got worse. A giggling man picked up a stick and whacked Donkey with it.

"Piñata!" the man cried, "Piñata! Piñata!"

Donkey, who was taken by surprise, stood up and shook himself off. Then he looked around. Now the whole crowd was coming towards him again. Not with tails, but with sticks!

"Piñata! Piñata! Piñata!" they yelled and tried to whack Donkey.

Donkey hunched down, "Oh, man! Can't we talk 'bout this? C'mon!" he cried. Then, he saw an opening; through the tangle of legs, a path that led to the door! He ran for it, tripping people on the way. Donkey didn't stop as he fled out of the barn and across the driveway. He didn't care where he was going, as long as he was going away from that place!

He ran out to the road, and ran towards the woods. He ran away from the grassy meadows and the crystal blue streams. He ran away from magic beans and talking mice and fake tails and drunken men shouting "piñata". He ran right into a guy named Lord Duquaar who was traveling through the woods.

Lord Duquaar looked down at Donkey cowering at his feet.

Donkey shut his eyes and opened his mouth, "Please, don't take me back! Please! You don't know what it's like back there! They're all crazy, they're drunk! Please!" Donkey pleaded, wrapping his hooves around Lord Duquaar's legs.

Lord Duquaar wasn't quite sure what to think about a talking donkey wrapping his hooves around his legs and pleading with him. This donkey was clearly in some kind of trouble, and Lord Duquaar had made a pledge to help those in trouble.

"Small donkey, don't be afraid. I won't take you anywhere you don't want to go. I am Lord Duquaar of Duloc, and I am headed home just now." Lord Duquaar paused and looked at the little donkey. Donkey slowly began unwrapping himself from the nobleman's legs. Lord Duquaar continued,

"If you'd like, you may come with me. I am returning from a crusade, and I'm sure my brother will set up a grand welcome for me. If you'd like, I'm sure you can find refuge at my home. There are many kind people in Duloc."

Donkey noticed for the first time that this Lord Duquaar guy was accompanied by a sizable army of armor-clad foot soldiers.

"Really?" Donkey asked hopefully.

"Really really." Lord Duquaar smiled kindly.

"Alright, now that's what I like to hear! I've never done much traveling…"Donkey admitted.

"Then let's travel in style." The kindly man replied, "Captain! My carriage!"

An ornate carriage pulled by beautifully decked out horses drew up next to Donkey and Lord Duquaar. The carriage door was opened by a footman. Donkey grinned in admiration. Lord Duquaar gestured towards the open carriage door.

"Shall we?"

Donkey bounded inside, "Oh yeah! This is gonna be fun! We can play travelin' games, and sing travelin' songs, and when we get there, I'm gonna order us all a big pizza!"

"Whoa, there, little donkey! Duloc's just on the other side of these woods! We'll be there in a short while, so why don't you just enjoy the ride?" Lord Duquaar said, amused.

Donkey sighed, sat down, and stared out his window at the forest.

"Y'know, I've never been out here before! It's a pretty place, but I wouldn't want to live here. At night, I imagine things get pretty spooky. I mean, with all the jungle animals and all that." Donkey paused, "Y'know what else? I aint never told nobody this, but I…I'm kinda scared of the dark." Donkey looked at Lord Duquaar.

Lord Duquaar smiled at Donkey again.

"You don't have to feel bad about that, little donkey. There are many things to fear, especially when you are small. There are things I fear. When I was a boy, I used to be afraid of the dark, too. I thought that ogres, giants, and witches lived in my closet. Do you know what my dad told me?"

"What?"

"He opened up my closet, and told me that if ogres, giants, and witches lived in there, they'd be very uncomfortable. I realized that there just wasn't enough room for all those scary things to live in my closet. So I stopped being afraid. Later on…"

Lord Duquaar chuckled, "I imagined that a beautiful princess lived there, instead!"

"Wow." Donkey breathed, "So you weren't ever afraid again?"

Lord Duquaar shook his head, "Oh, yes! Plenty of times, I've been afraid! Only fools are completely free of fear. Fear is a response to an unfamiliar situation. It warns us and makes us aware of danger. Without it, we are unprepared for what lies ahead. However, we must not let it control us. We must learn to use it, and ignore it when necessary…"

"Arriving at Duloc!" the driver shouted back to the passengers of the carriage.

"Here we are! Small donkey, welcome to Duloc!" Lord Duquaar smiled as Donkey excitedly leaned out his window.

The carriage pulled up in front of a high, grey-brick wall. The wall surrounded the village of Duloc in a pentagonal shape. The top of a squarish, grey-brick castle could barely be seen peeking above the wall. All around the wall, farmland made a patchwork quilt of the rolling countryside. In a clearing at the edge of the woods, an old windmill stood.

Lord Duquaar stepped out of the carriage and stretched his arms above his head.

"It's so good to be home! There's no place like it!"

"That's for sure." Donkey said, admiring the scenery, He jumped down out of the carriage and began following Lord Duquaar down the dirt path to the entrance of Duloc. Donkey smiled as he wondered what kind of wonderful place was inside the walls.

"Make way for Lord Duquaar!" the captain knight ordered. Two huge wooden doors swung open, and in marched the knights. Donkey and Lord Duquaar followed.

"That's strange, we usually leave the doors open here in Duloc!" Lord Duquaar frowned, "Oh, well, no matter. I guess my brother got nervous when I took most of the army with me! Poor chap." Lord Duquaar shook his head, "He's so paranoid!"

Duloc was as small as its name, but it was charming. The cobblestone streets were lined with quaint brown buildings. Flowers were everywhere. Throughout the town, a feeling of disorderly order reigned supreme. Guards stood outside every door.

Lord Duquaar noticed the guards and scowled. "It seems my brother has been busy while I was away," he said coolly.

As they passed through the marketplace, many vendors begged Lord Duquaar to try their wares. Lord Duquaar looked down at Donkey and smiled, "Little Donkey, I'd like you to try something. Here, this is what Duloc is famous for." The nobleman stuck a spoon of something in Donkey's mouth.

Donkey smiled and licked his lips, "I aint never tasted anything like this before!" he said, "What's it called?"

Lord Duquaar chuckled, "It's called 'parfait', Small Donkey, do you like it?"

"Do I really need to answer that?" Donkey asked, "I mean, who couldn't like parfait?"

The knights escorted the strange pair toward the castle. The big grey-brick building was by far the tallest thing in Duloc, but it was by no means a skyscraper. The castle stood in the center of town, with all the small houses and shops around its base.

With a silly grin on his face, Donkey followed Lord Duquaar inside. Lord Duquaar, frowning stormily, headed for a large pair of doors. He burst through them.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" he boomed.

Donkey peeked inside the room. In the center of the room, a small bathtub sat full of bubbles. It was also full of a man. One servant was rubbing the man's feet, and another servant was fanning him. The man looked up from his bubble bath in surprise, then sank back into the foam when he saw his brother.

"Oh, my brother, please. Don't get so worked up. I just made a few improvements!" the man sighed fakely.

Lord Duquaar was not impressed. He strode up to the bathtub and yanked the man out. Luckily, the man was wearing a swimsuit. The servants ran for cover.

"Under WHOSE authority?" Lord Duquaar demanded.

"Yours!" the man choked, "you left me in charge!"

Donkey gasped at the sight of Lord Duquaar choking a man in a swimsuit and dripping bubbles all over the floor. Lord Duquaar noticed Donkey walking up beside him and glared at the man.

"Small Donkey, allow me to introduce my twin brother…" Lord Duquaar dropped the man unceremoniously onto the floor, "Lord Farquaad."

Lord Farquaad stood up and snapped his fingers. Immediately, two servants rushed over to brush him off and place a robe around his swimsuit-clad body.

Lord Farquaad was short. There was no mistaking that. He was barely as tall as the tips of Donkey's fuzzy ears. Lord Farquaad had a big head, too. Literally! His head made up a third of his body height. In other words, Lord Farquaad looked exactly the opposite of his tall, kind twin brother.

"Really, my brother!" Lord Farquaad lifted his short arms so the servants could tie on his sash, "you must learn to use your inside voice when you are in the castle. And in front of guests!" Here he paused to glare at Donkey, who hid behind Lord Duquaar's legs. "If you could call it that." Lord Farquaad sneered disgustedly.

Lord Duquaar stared at his brother, "Farquaad, this was never meant to be! The guards, the closed doors…it isn't right! Duloc is a friendly place!"

"Friendly?" Lord Farquaad laughed hollowly, "This place is in a constant state of chaos! But I will see it become great! Under my leadership, Duloc will become the most perfect place anyone's ever heard of! Guards!" Lord Farquaad again snapped his fingers. The group of knights that had escorted Lord Duquaar and Donkey marched in to Lord Farquaad.

Donkey gasped in unpleasant surprise. Lord Duquaar looked bewildered.

"Guards! Throw him out! And take that filthy grey thing out too!" Lord Farquaad smirked.

The guards began to follow through with that order.

"You will destroy everything that the people of Duloc treasure." Lord Duquaar said sadly as he was escorted out of the room.

"I don't get it." Donkey said when they were out of Duloc, "I thought you were in charge here!"

Lord Duquaar frowned and looked as what was formerly his town, "I was."

"Well, why don't you, you know, storm the castle! Take back what's rightfully yours! That kind of stuff?" Donkey asked.

"I can't." Duquaar looked defeated, "Farquaad has the army at his command, and I have no army or weapons to fight this battle." Duquaar sat on an empty seed barrel.

"Sounds like you've already lost, and you haven't even started yet!" Donkey said, sitting down with his back towards Lord Duquaar.

"But I…" Lord Duquaar protested.

"Nope! Givin' up, it's the same as losin'." Donkey said.


End file.
